You know the one thing I hate about my ED is
Every single day I jump on here and I see thinspo.
Every single day when I look at these photos I encourage myself and then crumble a little when I remember that there are people who are looking at this like a gospel, like me.
The one thing I hate about my ED is
Whenever I look at thinspo the part of me that loves woman so much, hurts that these beautiful people starve themselves to look like this.
I just want to hug them and shower them in kisses so they don’t have to feel the pain of judgement from themselves and the world.
The one thing I hate about my Ed is
These girls and boys and POC and overweight people are treated like a joke. I have seen plenty of posts being like “ugh, overweight Anas arent valid” And it hurts. I could care less about them but I know plenty of people who are affected by words and that shit would sting.
I have seen posts like “boys can’t have eating disorders. They are manly.” Well not eating isn’t limited to a gender and they also have a specific dysmorphia. It’s called muscle dysmorphia and the way we see ourselves as fat, they see themselves as scrawny and not masculine.
And my lovely POC I know it is hard enough for you guys to get through the day but coming here and seeing essentially nothing to help you must suck. I just want to give you guys a shout out for not getting mad at 90% of the thinspo being like “I want to be a pale dainty fairy.”
The reason I hate my ED isn’t because I’m hurting myself physically because frankly I hate myself so I could care less. I’m scared that these young kids and adults will hurt themselves and have emotional scars.
I’m terrified to lose the people I love because I can’t eat.
I’m terrified for other people to lose the people they love because they don’t eat or they have spit bags hidden under their beds.
I’m scared for everyone to lose someone, themselves or their sanity.
But hey, this is just a diet right? Nothing emotional comes out of it. You can stop at anytime…
